she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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