I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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