yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize
