I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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