Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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