you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Randomize
