so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
