he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
you will always have a special place in my vag
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
COCAINE IS GR8
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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