it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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