Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
