Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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