5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize