I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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