My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
