he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
