Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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