As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
