Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
