It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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