So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She's like a pop up book from hell.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
