Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
