soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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