well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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