she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
There's always time for handjobs
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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