I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
There r osticjed everywhere
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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