Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
