I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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