You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
