I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
did i walk over a car last night?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize