me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
