Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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