I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize