Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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