It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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