he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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