So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize