I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
