its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
