turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
