If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
