Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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