Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
