I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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