at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
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