She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
