that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
