I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
