Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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