Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
