My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
