For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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