if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
