Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
