my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
