Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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