I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
