He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
