he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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