hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
