That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
