Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
