I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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