I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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