Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
