i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
