Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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