So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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