It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
