left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
