i barfeds in our rink
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
