I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
