I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
