seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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