I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Umm I'm too high to move.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I will be naked everywhere
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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