Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
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