how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
