i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
