his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
