that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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