So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
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